Have you ever thought about how ironic it is that the things we don’t plan are still planned out? God makes things happen in our life just in the right time and place that He sees fit.
I. Am. A. Planner.
Ask anybody who knows me. I can go with the flow as long as I can see where we are flowing. I make to-do lists for myself almost on a daily basis. If it’s possible to plan something out months ahead of time, I will do it. Ironic how military life is the total opposite, right? Try to plan anything out ahead of time if your spouse is in the military and let me know how that goes for ya! It’s almost impossible. But we make do!
Knowing this, you might be shocked to find out that neither of my pregnancies were planned. If you’ve been following along and reading my previous posts, I found out I was pregnant with Paislee two days after I graduated college! And seven months after she was born, we were surprised again with our Noah. Both the biggest blessings of my entire life, besides the hunk that helped me make ’em ;). But pretty scary right? For anyone who has been or is currently in a similar situation, let me assure you, it WILL be okay. It’s challenging, but it is very doable.
During one of my sessions last week with a client, I was talking with their momma and we were getting to know each other a bit. She asked me about my kids and how old they were and I watched as her eyes grew bigger and mouth gaping when I told her I had a 1 and a 2 year old. This is the typical reaction I get when I explain that my littles are only 13 months apart. And I totally get it. It definitely was not how I planned to have our kiddos. But there are a few things I want to share with you mommas that are like me. That have your babies close together on accident, or even on purpose. Some women want to have their babies close and it’s great! Here’s what I’ve learned so far, and excuse my bluntness but I’m keepin’ it real y’all…
Two surgeries are rough
I can’t speak on behalf of the awesome ladies that have done natural, vaginal deliveries because I had a cesarean with both kids. One being an emergency c-section. I knew that having a c-section with my first that the rest of my pregnancies would be delivered the same way. A v-back [or vaginal birth after c-section] was an option for my little guy until it got complicated toward the end. Having two c-sections so close together took a huge toll on my body. It has been a year and 5 months since my last surgery and I still feel pain and dont’ feel quite like my self. THIS ISN’T THE CASE FOR EVERYONE. Please know that. Don’t take my experience as the one and only. It has been a hard recovery for me and I will probably feel it for a long time.
Plus the mental state you have to be in just to have the surgery. I mean a big needle in your back and your insides being all exposed….you gotta mentally prepare yourself. Plus the disappointment of not being able to hold your baby right after they are born. That was the hardest part for me [your arms have to be strapped down]. You can most certainly request immediate skin-to-skin though after they deliver your baby. Even though both of my pregnancies were classified as “complicated” I was able to get some brief skin-to-skin after they were born and I got to kiss their little heads before the doctors had to do their thing. I follow an instagram, @bumpbabyandco , and they show some very real and honest pictures of women during the labor process, birthing experience and everything thereafter. One picture in particular, featured below, that just shows the rawness and realness of the entire experience in my opinion. I so wish I had a picture like this of myself just as a reminder of what it was like. You can visit the post here. Again, this isn’t to scare anyone, I just want to share my experiences.
Photo credit: Lemonade Lane x
NO, my babies are not twins
Although it feels that way sometimes because they are so close, no they are not twins. People ask us this all the time. Yes, they look alike and you can totally tell that they are siblings, but it’s pretty obvious that Noah is younger than Paislee. Maybe it’s easier for me to distinguish the characteristics because they are my kids, but I guess y’all can tell me what you think!
They are a a little younger in this pic than they are now, and looking back at it I guess I don’t blame people for making that accusation! They’re pretty identical!
There are so many diapers
You think one baby/toddler goes through a lot of diapers?! Double it. Costco for the win! Luckily, we are at the point now where they are both in the same size. Hallelujah! It was rough there for awhile. Paying for double the diapers AND formula. Talk about breaking the bank. Our oldest is slowly transitioning to full-on potty training. So hopefully only diapers for one soon!! Pray for us please!
And the last thing that I will share with you all about having your babies so close together is…
They will be best friends
I feel like this was the thing I heard the most when I was pregnant with Noah. And they weren’t lying. They already play so nicely together. They’ve started fighting nicely together too. Siblings fight no matter how close or far apart they are. I was the oldest of the two other sisters. They were very close in age too [about 14 months]. There was a 5-6 year difference between me and them. They were always so close growing up and apart of me was a little envious of that. I have a wonderful relationship with both of my sisters and wouldn’t change any of our lives, but I’m so blessed that our children will have that relationship as well. They could possibly even be in the same grade! How crazy is that?!
I wouldn’t call these things “pros” and “cons”. I see my kids and everything that comes along with them as blessings. I would go through any kind of pain, lose as much sleep through the teething and growing spurts, and sacrifice anything I might want in order to provide them with what they need. It wasn’t in my “plan”. But was in His. And who can argue with that? 🙂